2024 Regular Season - END OF REGULAR SEASON
WHO HAS PAID
Commissioner Stalin
The Toll Booth
Coach Rubs
The Kosher Nostra
Boof
The Sneaky Greek
WHO HASN’T PAID
Q
Sloppy Joe
HI-Life Ganja Farmers
The Law Firm
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Well, well, well. Here we are peasants, the end of the 14th regular season of the greatest fantasy league on earth. I’m late as usual here so let’s dive right in
Week 14 RECAP
Boof v. Q - Brock needed a big win here, and he got it behind big performances from David Montgomery, Khalil Shakir, and a solid contribution from his defensive line. Q also started two guys on a bye week, so that helped, but either way Brock got a much needed dub en route to his second division title in franchise history. Brock solidified a first round bye and the 2 seed thanks to being in the incredibly soft and fraudulent East Division, while Q ends the year at 5-9 and luckily doesn’t have to pay trophy shipping since Logan blew it massively
The Sneaky Greek v. The Kosher Nostra - In a shocking move, Zack left his very own Steeler George Pickens in the starting lineup despite being out with an injury in a must win game for the Greeks. That loxxed in bagel didn’t matter, though, as big games from Josh Jacobs and George Kittle propelled Zack to a 184 point week and squeaked out a close win over playoff bound Mike in a critical game. The big shocker here was Mike keeping Texans’ punter Tommy Townsend on his bench just because he had a bye week in a rough loss. When you have a chance to roster two punters, you just gotta take it. Both Zack and Mike are in the wild card round with respective 8-6 and 9-5 records, and they actually face off in round one in a b2b rematch featuring no byes. Bo Nix time???
Coach Rubs v. The Toll Booth - This game didn’t matter, but Logan started 5 guys on a bye. That’s just ridiculous. We really do need to get a rule in place or something, this is dumb
Sloppy Joe v. The Law Firm - Joe also started guys on a bye week, and he actually could’ve made the playoffs. Four guys on a bye, to be exact. It didn’t really matter with the Law Firm dropping 213, but still. Get it together guys
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
HI-Life Ganja Farmers v. Commissioner Stalin - The most exciting game of the week came down to literally the final minute of MNF. The Soviets were facing a sixth straight defeat against the Ganja Farmers, one that would’ve sent them home with a 7-7 record and losing the tiebreaker to Djavan with an 0-2 mark on the season. That is, until the Cowboys did the obvious and blew it on a special teams blunder, giving the Bengals the ball back one more time and subsequently throwing a long touchdown to Ja’Marr Chase that gave Stalin the points needed to beat Djavan for the first time since 2018 and clinch a playoff berth in the process. The Ganja Farmers ended the season at 6-8 with the fourth most points scored, which has to sting as they miss the playoffs and watch the Soviets slide into the wild card round with an 8-6 mark
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
Zack had the biggest nuts this week starting an injured WR in a must win game, but he still pulled it off to sneak into the playoffs
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
Easy choice here for a trifecta, with Q, Joe, and Logan not setting lineups as usual. We really do need to implement a fine system or something. Maybe to fix the trophy??
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
Logan, Joe, Q, set lineups man come on
.playoffS
Let’s pour one out for the scrubs that just couldn’t hang. No synopses here as they don’t deserve it and will get one at the end of the season:
10 (Trophy Shipping Clown) - Coach Rubs
9 - Sloppy Joe
8 - Q
7 - The Ganja Farmers
One seed Nikki and lucky two seed Boof have first round byes so let’s get to it for the wild card matchups
WILD CARD PREVIEW
(5) The Law Firm v. (4) Commissioner Stalin - The first wild card matchup we have is Gravy Bowl portion 3 of 2024, the two degos facing off for the third time this season in a matchup that’s seen the Law Firm just smoke the Soviets like a black and mild all season long. Stalin has the home field advantage as the higher seed, but it likely won’t matter after Boof Purdy dropped a solid 3 points on TNF in a rainy game in Lib Francisco. We all know the history here, with Anthony, Esq. being 0-6 all time in wild card games. Is this the season he does it? With a matchup against the lung Soviets, it’s very likely
(6) The Sneaky Greek v. (3) The Kosher Nostra - We got a repeat of last week’s game here between the Pittsburgh Greeks and the Wisconsin Meyer Lanskys, and it’s likely to be the better of the two games this weekend with the other game probably just being the Italians just making pasta fagioli. This game is simply incredible, featuring Will Levis, Anthony Richardson, and Bo Nix starting at quarterback in the postseason, and Zack has to be feeling good after a nice bagel from stud WR Cooper Kupp on TNF in the lib game. Zack won last week despite not setting a lineup in a big game against Mike to clinch playoffs - can he do it b2b weeks to move on to the semis? Doubt it