2024 Regular Season - Week 8
WHO HAS PAID
Commissioner Stalin
The Toll Booth
Coach Rubs
The Kosher Nostra
Boof
The Sneaky Greek
WHO HASN’T PAID
Q
Sloppy Joe
HI-Life Ganja Farmers
The Law Firm
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 8 Recap
Boof v. The Law Firm - Any, Esq. has been firing recently, rattling off his 5th win in a row after a really solid 0-3 start. The second 200-point outing for the Law Firm was led by Sneaky Kirk and Baker combining for 50 out of the QB position, and largely fueled by former Rainbow Warrior Rigoberto Sanchez and his incredible 11 points. Boof put up a valiant fight with a 181 point total, but Boof’s Lions failed him this week as he benched LaPorta for some unknown reason like an ass. A game of streaks here as both Boof and Anthony are 5-3, with Boof riding a 3 game skid and Any on a 5 game winning streak
Sloppy Joe v. The Toll Booth - We need to have some kind of study done on Joe’s fantasy teams. No matter what he does, draft or not, setting lineups or not, dude is a straight up lock to score between 160-175 legitimately every week. He actually set a lineup this week so that’s neat, but he still put up exactly 160 which ain’t enough to get it done. The Toll Booth got a lucky matchup here as she saw Stefon Diggs go down with an injury and her team falter to a 170 point total, her lowest score of the season so far (whoa), but she was still able to pull out a win. Sloppy Joe left a ton of points on his bench between Mason Rudolph (lol) and Marvin Harrison Jr., and now sits at 3-5 and riding a 4-game losing streak. Nikki is currently 6-2 and atop the league
HI-Life Ganja Farmers v. Q - The Battle of the Basement in week 8 was arguably the best matchup on our slate, with both teams blasting through the 180-point mark in a game that could have massive seeding effects down the road. The Ganja Farmers got huge games from Lamar, Bijan, and somehow Ladd McConkey, while Q was led by Staffy and James Cook combining for over 50. Jordan Mason going down early in the game spelled disaster for Q, as he lost by 16 points in a game that saw Mason held to under 2 due to his injury. Not that it would’ve mattered, because Q’s bench is ass, but oh well. Both teams are now 2-6 and tied for last with…
Coach Rubs v. The Kosher Nostra - DAWG! Lemme tell ya what happened. Another week, another big game from…Bo Nix???? You read that right, Big Dix Bo Nix dropped just under 30 points for Big Mike, who combined that with a 34 spot from Jalen Hurts to bust through the 2hundy marker and get another win at the hands of the worst team we’ve seen in recent memory. Big games from Jahmyr Gibbs and De’von Achane helped to fuel the cheese this week, while Coach Rubs couldn’t get anything going outside of CD Lambcakes monster day. He has started a punter that’s been injured for like a month straight, which is exactly how you do it. Logan is now 2-6 and Mike is now 6-2 and tied with Nikki for the top spot in the league
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Sneaky Greek v. Commissioner Stalin - The GOTW for week 8 was not even close to a good game, with the Greeks rolling out Spencer Rattler (WHO) and Joe Flacco, who didn’t play, at quarterback. The rest of the Greek lineup faltered as well, not even cracking the 150 point mark with single digit scores peppering their lineup throughout. The Soviets, meanwhile, fell just short of the 200 point plateau in another high scoring week behind Boof Purdy and Joe Mixon, aided with a 19 point banger from Zack’s hometown TJ Watt. Eleftherios falls to 4-4 on the season while the Soviets move to 5-3 and are riding a 4-game winning streak
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
Big Mike actually looked at his lineup this week and thought, yeah, Bo Nix over Tua. Welp, he was right, as Bo went off and Tua didn’t en route to a large Kosher win
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
Easily the Scoop goes to the Law Firm, who picked up maybe the best QB in the league right now in Jameis Winston. Let’s go
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
DAWG what are you doin man your punter’s been out for a month
.Week 9 preview
Boof v. Sloppy Joe - Believe it or not, Joe is actually projected for 178 points this week, but we’ll see. Neither of these teams has many byes this week and both are coming in riding solid losing streaks - Brock on a 3 game skid and Joe with a 4-gamer of his own. Boof is looking to get back on track and keep a hold of the fraudulent East Division, and 170 points will probably do it against a perennially average Sloppy Joe team
Q v. The Toll Booth - Q doesn’t have a lineup set. What are we doing
The Law Firm v. The Sneaky Greek - Does this even matter? Zack is starting Joe Flacco and Malik Willis at QB. Anthony got 25.5 from Garrett Wilson on TNF. Zack’s entire team is on bye, mostly because he has a lot of Steelers for whatever reason. Any, Esq. is projected to smash him, and the commissioner’s office is inclined to agree. Tort liability
Coach Rubs v. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - Another Battle of the Basement let’s go! Both Djavan and Logie are 2-6, and fighting to avoid paying trophy shipping. Logan is currently starting 2 guys that are out with injuries, so he’s probably gonna lose again like a clown. DAWG
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Kosher Nostra v. Commissioner Stalin - A great rivalry matchup here featuring two divisional teams facing off for the second time this season. The Soviets won the week one matchup to open the year, but the cheese has been on a tear recently and is tied for the league lead with Nikki. Both teams come in riding a 4-game win streak, so this screams tie