2024 Regular Season - Week 4
WHO HAS PAID
Commissioner Stalin
The Toll Booth
Coach Rubs
The Kosher Nostra
Boof
WHO HASN’T PAID
The Sneaky Greek
Q
Sloppy Joe
HI-Life Ganja Farmers
The Law Firm
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 4 Recap
Q v. Boof - Another week, another injury for Anthony Richardson as Q yet again puts up a low score, this time not even able to crack 160 as the rest of the squad blew up as well. Boof kept rolling, this time just barely falling under the 190-point plateau behind solid performances across the board, and is now 4-0 on the season and atop the East Division. Q is 1-3 and, if history is any indicator, probably headed for a last place finish
Commissioner Stalin v. The Law Firm - Gravy Bowl I of the 2024 season was more exciting than expected given how bad these two teams are, with the Law Firm squeaking out a close victory that went down to the wire on MNF. A very late and pointless Tony Pollard touchdown late in a game featuring Mason Rudolph v. Tyler Huntley gave Any the victory, as the Soviet RB combo of Cam Akers and Braelon Allen just couldn’t cut it. Both squads are now 1-3 and floundering
HI-Life Ganja Farmers v. Sloppy Joe - Joe is honestly unbelievable. I don’t know how he does it. Every week, same score range, and here we are again with another 169 point victory for the Slop. Joe didn’t even know if he was still in the league - his response to me asking when he can draft was ‘did you guys kick me out?’ - and here he is right in the mixer despite having a bunch of hometown Chicago Bears. Djavan is having his worst season in recent memory, but he also started a guy that didn’t play and lost by 16 so that’s good. Sloppy Joe is now 3-1 as the Ganja Farmers fall to 1-3
The Toll Booth v. The Kosher Nostra - The Brits have done it again, continuing her perfect start behind moar Alvin Kamara and Justin Jefferson. The rest of the team came back down to earth this weekend, but it was still enough to put up 170 points and get the W over a struggling cheese wheel. Realistically, Mike is rolling out All Pix Bo Nix at quarterback, so you can’t be expecting much, but 158 points will not get it done. Nikki is atop the league at 4-0 as she drops the Kosher Nostra to 2-2
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
Coach Rubs v. The Sneaky Greek - The Game of the Week lived up to expectation here in week four, with Coach Rubs and the Sneaky Greek battling it out to another close game in their first matchup of 2024. The Greeks somehow came out on top, probably because Logan’s team is so bad, but the real story here is Justin Fields dropping 30 points for Zack’s hometown Steelers. Logan’s team is just terrible, and he is now 1-3 as Zack somehow moves to 2-2 despite intentionally drafting no QBs
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
The Greeks take the Bold Play Award for rolling with Najee Harris, who is terrible and a Steeler, over Kenneth Walker, who dropped 34. Zack still somehow won, but mostly because Logan’s team is so bad man
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
Week 4’s Scoop goes to Battis, who snagged Tyler Huntley to spot start at QB since Zack has none due to poor drafting. Huntley scored 11 to give the Greeks a crucial 4 point victory over Coach Rubs, mostly because Logan’s team is so bad
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
Week 4’s You Blew It Award goes to Djavan, who started Davante Adams in a close loss against Big Mike when Adams DIDN’T PLAY WHAT ARE WE DOING
.Week 5 preview
Commissioner Stalin v. The Toll Booth - Psh. No contest. Brits gonna smoke the Soviets worse than the Cold War
The Law Firm v. Q Anthony Bowl I of 2024 and a rematch of last year’s final should be the game of the week, but man these teams are bad. Both 1-3 and at this point trying to not pay trophy shipping, don’t even bother watching this one
HI-Life Ganja Farmers v. Coach Rubs - Logan’s team is so bad man. Lucky for him, Djavan’s is too, and DJ hasn’t been setting lineups so Logan might win this one since he’s the luckiest human alive
The Kosher Nostra v. The Sneaky Greek - Who is Zack?
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
Sloppy Joe v. Boof - Somehow, both of these teams have a combined 7-1 record and are battling it out for the East. I don’t get it, but here we are. This game will definitely have ramifications for the division title down the road, but only because everyone else in the division is so bad